The Nature of Stars
by sheepeater
Summary: If only their stars had not been so terribly crossed. Tenzin, Lin, and the load that did not lighten over time. ; Linzin Week, Day 4


Linzin Week, Day 4: Duty

**Title**: The Nature of Stars

**Word Count**: 1,578

**Characters/Pairings**: Lin, Tenzin, mentioned Pema; Linzin

**Timeline/Spoilers**: post-Book One of Korra; small reference made to the episode _The Guru _from Avatar Book Two ; and, if you don't know about the Linzin relationship, you do now

**Summary**: If only their stars had not been so terribly crossed. Tenzin, Lin, and the load that did not lighten over time. ; Linzin Week, Day 4

**Notes**: Ah, I wish I'd heard about Linzin Week sooner! Sadly, I didn't have enough time to prepare fics for each day. But this was my favourite of the bunch. I hope you enjoy.

Also, this was partially inspired by the fic _Finding You _by SnowGirl089 on this site. I have several different theories on how their breakup may have gone, and the thought of Lin's hypothetical infertility has been looming over the fandom for quite a while now, so I thought I'd take a crack at it.

The title was taken from my favourite quote from one of my favourite books, which, in turn, is based off of a quote by Shakespeare. It's kind of a quote within a quote, really:

"Were she better or you sicker, then the stars would not be so terribly crossed, but it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he had Cassius note, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves." Easy enough to say when you're a Roman nobleman (or Shakespeare!), but there is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars."

–_The Fault in Our Stars_, John Green

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"Lin.. You're...? You... You can't-"

"Spit it out, Tenzin. I don't have time to dabble. I'm _what_?" She rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. The man had unceremoniously barged into her office at the police station just as she was about to head home for the day. If he was just going to waste her downtime...

"You can't have children..." It came softly, not quite a statement and not quite a question.

Lin's eyes glazed over, and her voice took on an icy tone. "Where did you hear that?" She'd never shared the details of her breakup with Tenzin to anyone. Even her parents got only the barest facts. Except in her...

"You read my journal?" she barked, now glowering. Though it couldn't exactly be called a journal. She hadn't the time or patience for such a tedious practice and only scribbled a few things down if only to put her restless mind at ease.. "You went through my things?" she thundered on.

Tenzin paled noticeably. "No... Not exactly..."

"Then tell me _what_ exactly." Though her back was now turned to him, to say that the tension in the air was palpable would be an understatement. "Please _do_ enlighten me," she drawled venomously.

Her command was met with a heavy sigh. "I..." he began hesitantly. "There was a box you had left open when you were packing." (Lin was moving to a new apartment, as her current one had been damaged in the Equalist attack.) "I was looking for the tape...and the lid was open-"

"So you took it as an invitation to snoop through my private things?!" Lin all but shrieked.

"No! No, of course not! It's just..." He exhaled and took a deep breath. "Look, there was a letter at the top, and I recognized it as one I had written to you in our youth. I picked it up...just to reminisce, for old times' sake. But then, time got away from me. I got caught up in the memories. And then I saw the journal my mother had given to you, and I... I'm so sorry, Lin. I had no right."

"You're damn right you didn't! I told you before, and I'll tell you again. Stay out of my life, Tenzin." Her voice cut deeper than a knife ever could. "Now, get out of my sight."

"No, Lin. I-"

"Do you think I'm joking here?! I don't want to see you. So leave. Before I make you."

"No," he said, much firmer this time. "Not until we discuss this like adults."

"Talk about what?" she nearly exploded. "Talk about news that's a decade old? Talk about how you completely violated my personal privacy? Talk about something that doesn't even matter anymore?"

"It _does _matter, Lin."

She finally turned to face him, the vein in her forehead ready to burst. "Just what do you think you're playing at-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" There was a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place.

Now _that_ she had not been expecting. She masked her surprise with a scoff.

"We could have... I could have..."

"You could have _what_? In case you don't remember, you had a responsibility. You were duty-bound to repopulate the Air Nomads. A barren girlfriend would have been no help in that endeavor," she finished, the bitterness in her tone not eluding him. "Telling you wouldn't have changed a damn thing. It was inevitable from the start."

"So what? You just intentionally cut yourself off from me? Forced us to grow apart? That wasn't your decision to make, Lin." Tenzin was the one getting angry now. "I don't believe in inevitability. And you didn't even give us a fighting chance!" He laid his hand down on her shoulder.

"Don't you touch me!" She pulled away roughly. "I did what I had to do. I let you off the hook. I made things easy for you!"

"You think it was easy to grow apart from you? You don't think I didn't spend every minute of the day wondering what had gone wrong, how I could fix this? You think it was easy losing the woman I.." he trailed off.

A heavy silence filled the air. She refused to meet his eyes. When he finally caught her gaze, all he saw was a fire. She was positively livid.

"Well," she spat, "you didn't seem to be having too hard a time when you went off to be with that floozy as soon as you'd left me."

"This is about us, Lin. Pema has nothing to do with it."

"There _is_ no 'us'. And it has _everything _to do with her."

"You said yourself that forcing us apart was something you had to do because of my responsibility! And you knew what that responsibility would entail."

She uttered a humourless laugh. "I just didn't expect you to be off and running with a new girl as soon as you had the chance. And with a _child_, no less. The forty-year-old councilman and son of the Avatar  
galloping around with a child sixteen years his junior!"

"So you're mad because she's younger than you?" he questioned incredulously, with steam practically blowing out of his ears. "There may have been a difference in our ages, but she was just as much an  
adult as either of us. We- We were friends, Lin. She was living on the island for years, and then one day-"

"I don't want to hear about your stupid love story!" she fumed. "About how happy she made you. Or how completely wonderful your lives were that you were wed not four months after we'd...we'd broken up. And with a baby soon to follow." The words were finally out in the air. All the pain and resentment she'd been holding in for the better part of ten years.

Tenzin was stunned. "I... I never knew you felt that way, Lin."

"Of course not. You were already so happy and invested in your new life." After those words, the chief of police made to leave. She had had enough of this.

"Lin, wait."

She raised an eyebrow, daring him to say something, _anything_ that could possibly make her want to stay.

He closed his eyes, looking almost...shameful? But that couldn't be, could it? "I am truly sorry for everything I have ever done to hurt you, Lin. That was never my intention. Regardless of what you may think, I cared about. I still care about you. So please...forgive me."

This time, she was the one struck speechless. Trying to brush him off again, she muttered, "Like I said, it doesn't matter anymore. So I'll just be going."

"And like _I_ said, it _does_ matter," he interjected.

"Oh? And why is that?" she queried, though not as sharply as before. For once, Lin Bei Fong was all out of fight.

"Because what we had was special," he said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. "I love my wife and my children, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but... What I'm trying to say is..." He breathed out slowly to collect himself. "An old guru once told my father, back when he was young and the pain of losing his people was still fresh...that the love we have never really goes away. And though it may change or be shared with others along the way, once love is given, it can never be taken away. It stays with us always.

"You're my oldest friend, Lin." She noticed that a hand had come up to twiddle with his beard. It was an old nervous tic of his. "I can't recall a time when you weren't a part of my life, and I hope it always stays that way. I've had my best memories with you. ...And the worst," he sighed, but continued on. "I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you. And I can only hope that I've made a similar impact on you. Just because I came to love someone else doesn't mean that I ever stopped loving you. Even though we lost these past ten years, I'll spend the next ten trying to make it up to you somehow. I refuse to lose my best friend again," the airbender proclaimed vehemently.

He finally looked up then, surprised that he hadn't interrupted him at all during his impromptu speech.

Tenzin had to strain to hear what she said next. Barely a whisper, she told him, "I loved you. I always did. I always will." With that, it seemed that Lin was all set to leave...but she stopped once more, in the middle of the doorway.

Mustering all of her courage, she turned and walked up to him. Her eyes softened, giving him that loving look he once knew. Hands on either side of his face, she stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his gently. Like old times...

Tenzin barely had time to close his eyes, for she was gone as quickly as she had appeared. "Goodbye, Tenzin."

. x .

Standing outside the building, she looked up into the sky, contemplating. If only their stars had not been so terribly crossed. She shook her head and chuckled ruefully. Ah, but that was the nature of stars, wasn't it? And with that final thought, Lin felt a heavy weight finally lift from her shoulders.

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_owaranai_

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**A/N**: Oops, I just made myself sad.


End file.
